I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
