He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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