the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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