what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize