I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
