is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
