Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
