ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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