I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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