i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
