I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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