Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
