i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
