Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize