DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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