So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it was like eating out sand paper
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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