i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
