My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize