I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
