just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
