I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
