Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
