I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Who died my cat blue again?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
