Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
