I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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