shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize