how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
