I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize