what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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