She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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