I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
