Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
