Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
