My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize