I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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