You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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