I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
