I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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