How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
