Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
