why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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