Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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