some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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