I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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