I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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