It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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