Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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