I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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