I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
