He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
