tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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