So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
