I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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