i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
