What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
