you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
