She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
