Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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