I feel great
I just peed on a car
babies were throwing up all over the place
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
