And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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