I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
