im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
